Wednesday, October 23, 2013

25 weeks: sciatica in paradise

I've just returned to London after ten days in Miami singing with Seraphic Fire.  I had a fabulous time and got to sing some spectacular music, but I came back home with much worse sciatica than when I left.  I was only able to stand during our performances with Tylenol (not ideal, I know) and butt massages (don't tell Jason).  My guess is that all of the sitting I did in both rehearsal and in the car really did me in.  I just saw a doctor today and got referred for physical therapy, so hopefully that will help things.  The pain has already improved since my activity level has returned to normal, but I'm still pretty uncomfortable.  Mostly, I'm worried about things being this bad at six months, what will it be like at nine months!

Last night I read this article on a design blog about a friend of a friend who miscarried at six months (which is where I nearly am in my pregnancy).  I bawled my eyes out and was reminded of the three little ones I lost so early on.  Losing babies just seems like the most unfair thing that anyone has to live through and I will never understand why it happens.  Life is delicate and unpredictable and sometimes just really unfair.  It breaks my heart to think about miscarriage, but it is a good reminder to try to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy, even the painful bits, because this may be the only time I have with this sweet life within me.  That being said, all is well and I got to hear his little heartbeat again today which is always a comfort.  I can't say that it is because I am blessed (because your'e not blessed if you miscarry?) or that I am anything other than simply lucky to have this little life in me.  With this in mind, it feels silly to be concerned about any pain or discomfort when the whole picture is considered . . .

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